Production Day: Apocolypse Crat
My inbox this morning:
Barnes and Noble says:
It appears as though you are not a vendor of record and so your title cannot be sold online through our company. A book needs to be physically on hand in our warehouse in order to be for sale, or in a warehouse of a distributor that is a Vendor of Record. The pre-order button is simply an automated function for new titles and any orders that went through would not be filled.
Here that kids… Barnes and Noble has a pre-order button for new titles…just for the hellofit! THEY HAVE NO INTENTION OF FILLING ANYTHING YOU PRE-ORDER FROM THEIR SITE unless the publisher is someone well known, in their system, and dating a relative.
Niki says:
Hi Tina– here’s the contract! Go ahead and open it in Photoshop & sign it, and send it back to me; I’ll pass it on to her …
Hey, I’ll be published in Lime Law 3 in Germany. At least some good news came my way today.
Amazon.com says:
Your book is now for sale in our store…
Oh WOW! Laura Zel, you’re amazing. You went from speaking broken English, to writing your own novel in just two weeks!! BTW, C.B. Potts and I worked very hard on illustrating that cover; we deserve some cred, it took us a WHOLE DAY! Oh and Createspace, thanks for stealing the ISBN I paid for and naming yourselves as my publisher…months before I even delivered you the title. You guys are made of sooo much FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!
Jason Thompson says:
BTW, I came up with a great name for a BL manga… “SOTADIC ZONE“!!!
Wow, it beats my concept of “Pink Freud” by a mile. The sad part is, I bet if he writes a hack outline and submits it somewhere, it will be published…because he’s Jason Thompson, and I’m not. :/
Amazon Connect says:
We’re aware that you have an Advantage account set up through Createspace, however, you will need to sign up for a second account in order to process titles produced elsewhere.
So I’ll have two accounts to sell at Amazon…and one of them will be charging me 55% per title sold because…THEY COULDN’T PRINT MY GRAPHIC NOVEL TITLE SINCE THEY COULDN’T ACCEPT A 145MB UPLOAD. Well, I need not worry about using the proper birth control while screwing with Amazon.com, since no woman’s ever gotten pregnant whilst taking it in the ass.
Captains Log, Additional:
I want to thank Jason and Niki for making my inbox tolerable in the last 12 hours. That aside, I’ve come to the grim conclusion that it’s going to be impossible to ‘be an author’ and ‘deal with printers and book sellers’. When I was making doujinshi, it was so much easier…perhaps because the print runs were smaller–it was fan-fun, and my name wasn’t riding on the line. The stress of dealing with what is otherwise just ‘typical distribution and publishing bullshit’ is putting a serious hurting on my ability to write fiction.
I’m going to need support staff…
